Thursday, March 20, 2008

Can't seem to shake it

It's the first day of spring, Easter is coming. I should be happy...but I'm not.

I host Easter for our family. I love to host usually. Mr calls me Martha all day. I plan out the menu far in advance, do special things like hiding treats, look for Easter decor....

But this year, I'm not into it. At. All.

Part of it is that we usually have Spring Break the week before Easter or at a minumum we have Good Friday off. Not this year though. So I have very little time to get ready. My parents will be here early Saturday afternoon. I work tomorrow too...booo....

But honestly, part of it is that I realized that in my grand scheme, the outcome of the trial would have allowed us to be announcing how many we were having rather than having to explain that it failed, that I failed. Because, let's face it...my body failed. I put three healthy, high rated, good celled embryos in and my body didn't accept them. And it sucks...

And, I'm sick of talking pregnancy with everyone at school around me. SICK. OF. IT! Sick of hearing them complain, sick of everyone telling them what to expect, sick of everything.

I think I'm depressed.

3 comments:

LJ said...

Stinks that you don't have the extra time to set up, no wonder you're not as into it.

And hear this. You. Did. Not. Fail.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

soapchick said...

Found you on Mel's googlerita post. I am sorry that you are feeling down. I hope happiness finds you again soon.

Kim said...

So sorry you are feeling down. No IF coverage just stinks! I read a few posts and saw a picture of your son - he is very handsome! I had to laugh at your biscuit comment - that is what we call our middle son - Biscuit! I wrote a post a bit back that has to do with some of what you are feeling-
http://whatwuzisaying.blogspot.com/2008/02/i-wish.html