Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Backlash...or full on attack

Maybe I am naive...maybe I just didn't realize how much hatred there is towards those seeking fertility treatments...but I am just floored at the utter callousness of some people. I had no idea that lawyers out there feel this way. It drops my opinion of those who are supposedly so learned and charged with upholding our laws.

A woman I know from online is trying to get her law firm to consider adding IF coverage in their benefits package. To that end, she asked an online lawyer forum to bring up the topic. I clicked over to read it and found statements like these:

If you can't have children, then god didn't want you to have them. Just like if he gave you small breasts or a big nose. No firms pay for breast enhancement (unless you consider a partner paying for a set for his assistant) or nose jobs. Stop playing around with mother nature.
For those that go through with IVF, I am guessing you want us all to contribute $10 per paycheck to care for the quadruplets, even though you will undoubtedly leave the firm once we pay you not to work for 12-18 weeks. Sounds like a really solid financial plan.

And this one...gotta love this one...

I think this thread is teaching us that the parents who are trying fertility treatments are precisely the type of blindly self-righteous and narcissistic people that we don't want polluting our gene pool. God/nature made you infertile. Take a hint.

This one sums it up nicely:
If you can't shit out a kid on your own, you shouldn't have one. Isn't that how nature is supposed to work?

I am surprised I guess that there is this much animosity towards those who are seeking IF treatment. A small part of me can understand not wanting to contribute to others through group medical plans, however these comments just left me feeling defeated.

I had no idea that infertiles were faced with such hatred and discrimination...

Here is the link to the comments by the way...the full force of them doens't hit you until you read through them...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

This one takes the cake....

I was talking to my SIL about the family with the 4 month old son who was diagnosed with histiocytosis, a rare blood/cell disease. The baby is going through several rounds of She knows them and so I was passing the information along. I said something along the lines of "it makes you thankful for what you have." She responded with

" See, it should make you grateful. You could have gotten pregnant and had this happen to you. Then you'd have gone through all this worry and stuff and had this happen. You should be happy you aren't pregnant."

Good God, is there any end to this?

I wonder why everyone chooses to tell me that I was wrong to be so worried, to have tried so hard. WHY is this free fodder for conversation? How do you go from talking about a child with a life threatening illness to discussing my reproduction and why I shouldn't persue it anymore???!!?? Do I not have the right to have another child? Am I just supposed to sit back and hope for the best?

What the heck makes people think those observations/opinions are helpful in the least?

The thing about it is that while I'm talking to them, I always chicken out. I never say to them "this isn't helpful." Why am I not able to stand up and say "shut up!"? I should, but I don't.

Monday, April 14, 2008

We were all snuggling on our bed friday night at bedtime. Boo had his bunny (it's actually my bunny, but Boo claimed it for his own this week)

He said to me, "Mommy, put the bunny in your tummy so you can have bunny baby. You need a baby Mom."

How do kids sense this stuff??

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Rain Rain Go Away

It has been cold and rainy here for so long now (it seems that way at least.) I would like it to be spring. Spring is a time of renewal, of new life, of hope.

I could use all of the above.

This weather brings me down. I'm busy busy with school/master's classes. I'd like a nice sunny weekend to have some ribs on the grill and a refreshing drink in my hand and some good friends over to play 5 that too much to ask?

Oh...and I'd like not to be nausous (sp) all the's getting old. If I'm going to be sick to my stomach, could I have it with a side of pregnant please? AF can show any time. It's day CD 35, 18DO. (Yes, I POAS on monday...BFN)
scratch is CD 1 :( Good thing I didn't waste that test today huh?

Sunshine would be nice, in any form!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008


** Don't forget to sponsor our March for Babies** (see post below)

I got a forwarded email from an old friend.

It's a long story, but this is someone that I used to be close to. She was a personal attendant in my wedding. We met through a mutual friend, someone I considered my best friend at the time. When the mutual friend and I "broke up," she took frenemy's side. I don't really blame her as she's know frenemy's husband for years. It hurts to be ignored by others, but there came a time when I decided it wasn't worth anxiety on my part. It has become a situation where if spoken too, I'll talk to them but since they don't speak to's not a big deal.

Anyway...this forwarded email was letting people know that her 3 month old son has a rare disease and will undergo chemotherapy. It listed blogs/carepages. I was shocked and saddened. I plan to send a "thinking of you card" and a gift certificate for a restaurant. I know firsthand how hard it is when a loved one is in the hospital. The last thing you think of is food and preparing it. They also have a 3yr old daughter at I figured this would be a nice gesture.

This doesn't mean I want to renew the friendship. There's been too much time and this isn't the time for that even if I wanted to. I still think a card and small gesture is the right thing to do.

As I clicked and read the carepage and blog, I felt like I was spying. I shouldn't, should I? I mean these are PUBLIC blogs. I forget that sometimes, but they are. The blog is linked directly to frenemy's blog...she's in charge of it. So of course I went there too. I almost feel like I'm reading things I shouldn't or doing something wrong.

So let me ask you...would you want a distant friend to discover your blog? Would it matter to you or would you be okay with it? I wonder what they would think were they to read mine. Do they know what I've been up to/dealing with? Would it even make a difference? Or do they just think I'm spying?