I am in the wait now to hear about the Teacher Librarian Grant. I have no idea if I'll be accepted. I can only hope.

At "theme night" saturday, we were talking about how each of us met our spouses. Mr and I met online. His best friend made the comment "Linda is everything he was looking for: redhead, glasses, and now she's going to complete the dream...librarian." I had to laugh.

But it also got me to thinking. If I get accepted, I'm committing to two years of pretty intensive work. I'll also have to finish up a few classes for my Reading Specialist at the same time. Busy busy. I am a full time teacher with a four year old. I'm already busy. Can I still do all that and try for another child?

I mean yes, technically I can try all I want, right? But really, in choosing to persue a career am I saying that I'm giving up? I don't remember giving up. What if it means I have? We aren't actively persuing treatment right now for financial reasons. Does not actively persuing mean we aren't trying? How did this happen that I don't know??