Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Random thoughts floating through my head....

A woman I know from a mommy board I'm on just announced her BPF at 8dpo. She's already had 2 recent early early miscarriages. I don't know how I feel about this...maybe what gets me is the "I KNEW I was pregnant this time. I felt implantation and there was no question I'd be pregnant, but I NEVER expected the test to be positive this early!!!!" Why this bothers me...I have no idea. It just does.

In another board related thought...a friend of a friend's water broke at 20 weeks. Everyone is expressing their outrage that: "They said there is nothing they can do and if she has the baby in the next 48 hours, he'll die. If he makes it to 24 weeks, he'll be severely special needs. If she can make it to 36 weeks, he'll probably be okay. AND they don't put her on bedrest, tell her she can go to work today... I'm sorry but what the fuck kind of doctor does this????? " my thoughts...and it's just what I I'm sure there will be those that disagree: I'm sorry, but if you do the research on it, her doctor...while not being kind about correct...
Should he have put it that way, NO. BUT she does need to know the distinct possibilities of severe disabilities and even death. He is being responsible in telling her the true outcomes. She is only 20 weeks. Yes, there have been micro preemies that survive, but the outcomes for them are very very low.
YES there have been lots of infants that have survived prematurity but many have lasting effects, some severe, some mild.
Also, 20 weeks is MUCH MUCH MUCH different than 30 weeks. Even 24 weeks is a huge milestone in survival.
I'm very sorry that your friend is going through this, but let's realize that her doctor was being honest with her.
Now I know this sounds harsh, but I hear all the time about how "I know a baby born early and they are fine..." My own son is caught up completely, but that is not to say that ALL babies born early are. I know a little girl born gestationally 5 days after Boo that has multiple physical disabilities. We are the exception, not the rule. Granted, there have been many advancements in medical ability but in the long run, preemies especially early preemies have many issues.

I need to figure out where my head is...I'm having a hard time keeping up with everything and being given a lot of school things to do at very short notice. It's frustrating.

I want a weekend with Mr. Our anniversary is coming up soon, I need some time with JUST him! Boo is wonderful but Mr and I need to reconnect as a couple too.

It's finally fall today! YAY!

Will AF be on time? I sure hope know how I am about time schedules. It's the virgo in me.


DD said...

I will admit that those two examples are just a couple of reasons I despise the message boards. Baby dust fucks with my contacts and irritates my asthma. The message boards are there for those who avoid the harsh, honest facts in reality.

Maybe my animosity is partly due to my envy. How nice it would be to believe that every one gets their happy ending.

As for 8DPO?! If she had no doubt, why did she bother testing? Technically, she's not pregnant, either. She's got an embryo that implanted and is producing hormones. It is quite possible yet that she can test in 6 more days and be staring at a negative test.

Yep. That bothers me, too.

LJ said...

I'm with you on the distinction with message boards. Maybe I have truly crossed over into being a bitter infertile, but I find the boards too cup half full. Our cups are a quarter full, at most, and we know it. We've been living with false hope so long, and we just need honesty from the doctors. I'd hate the news, but know the doc was right.

But happy anniversary! I hope you two can get a chance to do something special!

SaraS-P said...

Ditto on getting very disenchanted with message boards. I feel they spread misinformation far too often (and I can't stand baby dusty sentiments).

Hope Af is on time for you.