Tuesday, March 2, 2010


So for some reason, it JUST hit me that I'm going to give birth in less than 2 months. I am now scared to death.

For those who don't know, our son Boo was born at 31 weeks via C-section. I was never allowed to go into labor. He was in the NICU for 6 weeks before coming home.

Now that we are having another, I realized that I have NO idea what giving birth is like. I am going to try for a VBAC. I just signed up for a Childbirth class today. (Nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh?)

Really, honestly, truly...I'm scared.
1. I've never had a "newborn" at home. Boo was trained to eat every 3-4 hours by the time he came home from the hospital. He didn't have to be held all the time b/c we weren't allowed. He was a GOOD baby once he was home, no crying jags, slept for 3-5 hours at a time ect.

2. Mr had colic...and I mean COLIC when he was a baby. His mother even said to me "I didn't think we were ever going to be friends until he was 8 months old" What if this one is like that?

3. I'm SCARED TO DEATH to give birth :oops: I want a VBAC, but I have no real idea what to expect. How am I going to be able to CARE for a newborn while I'm recovering?? What if I need an episiotomy? What do real contractions feel like?

4. Breastfeeding. I pumped with Boo, but never truly breastfed. SCARED :shock: How will I know what to do? How will I do this with Boo around? What if he's attatched to me all the time?

5. What am I going to do with Boo during all of this time? I mean he's a great kid and all, but he's SO used to being the center of attention, what is going to happen when I need to do two things at once? It will be summer! He'll be home all the time. ACK!

6. Am I too old to be doing this? For God's sake, I'm almost 39 and do I really have any business doing this? Is it going to be fair to him that his parents are retirement age when he's in HIGH SCHOOL?


Yo-yo Mama said...

My husband will be 60 when our "baby" turns 16, and yet? Yes, I would do again today if we could.

If our hospital had allowed it, I'm sure Aitch would have been VBAC and more than likely past due. I worried nearly the whole pregnancy that she wouldn't make it to the end and while my son made it to term, he was just so tiny. So to have this healthy and robust baby? Weird AND wonderful.

After we discussed BF with my son, he pretty much ignored it. I did keep covered if out in the main area of the house, but usually I would go into our bedroom where it was quiet and no distractions, so he didn't even really care.

Your questions just won't be answered until you come home and go through the issues. It's too late to change your mind now, you know.

FattyPants said...

The last two months will fly by too, there just never seems to be enough time to get everything done. I can't help with the vbac, but with breastfeeding I think the most helpful thing one can do is take advantage of the lactation consultants. Mine was a godsend.