With no blood shed, no fainting and no tears.
I know many people do this every day, why then was it scary for me?
I made Mr. go away. Part of me wanted him there but a larger part knew that I'd be all nervous if he was. It must be the control freak in me huh? I have to be in control of what I'm doing at all times.
This is why IF is so hard. I'm not in control in any way.
On another note, Boo stayed in bed without getting up for anything last night. Lately he's been getting up many times before he finally stays in. Last night though, he not only stayed in bed the first time but also woke up DRY!
Being the "smart" mom I am, I repeated the exact same routine tonight.
The result? He was up 5 times before he stayed in.
ahhhh....kids are so predictable
UPDATE: Boo woke up completely dry in UNDERS this morning! Although he was out of bed several times before falling asleep, he stayed DRY in BIG BOY UNDERS! WOOOOOO
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Take THAT
Our baseline U/S was today. There was concern at our initial appointment since they only counted 9 antral follicles.
Today though.....TWENTY ONE!!!!!!
We'll show everyone how many eggs a near 36 year old can produce HUH!
Tomorrow is the first day of school. My meds will be delivered to school tomorrow. I learned how to give them today. Should be interesting, no?
Today though.....TWENTY ONE!!!!!!
We'll show everyone how many eggs a near 36 year old can produce HUH!
Tomorrow is the first day of school. My meds will be delivered to school tomorrow. I learned how to give them today. Should be interesting, no?
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Why are your eyes wet Mom?
Today was Boo's first day of preschool! Daddy took him and was a good daddy. He took lots of pictures.
Boo walked right in, found something to do and forgot about anything else! His only complaint was that he had to go back to daycare afterwards instead of going home with daddy.
How did my 31 week, 4lb 2oz little boy turn into this amazing child???
Friday, August 17, 2007
Boo at his finest!
I adore having a boy. I am in love with Boo so much. He's got a great personality and provides us with constant entertainment.
Last week he was playing in the living room while I was working (okay, maybe not WORKING) on the computer. He ran in all excited and the following conversation ensued:
(holding up his finger)
MOM! Mom, look! I got a boog out all by myself!
Oh, that's nice Boo. Go put it in the garbage.
No Mom! I have to EAT it!
(gasp) No, it's icky Boo, put it in the garbage!
Mom, it's a BIG one! I need to eat it!
NO BOO, it's ICKY and gross! Yuck, put it in the garbage!
(dejectedly) Oh, it's icky? Okay Mom, I'll put it in the garbage. (to himself) Mom says boogs are icky, I have to put it in the garbage. (puts head down as he leave the room)
I laugh every time I think of it. He will certainly be a hit at preschool next week won't he??
Last week he was playing in the living room while I was working (okay, maybe not WORKING) on the computer. He ran in all excited and the following conversation ensued:
(holding up his finger)
MOM! Mom, look! I got a boog out all by myself!
Oh, that's nice Boo. Go put it in the garbage.
No Mom! I have to EAT it!
(gasp) No, it's icky Boo, put it in the garbage!
Mom, it's a BIG one! I need to eat it!
NO BOO, it's ICKY and gross! Yuck, put it in the garbage!
(dejectedly) Oh, it's icky? Okay Mom, I'll put it in the garbage. (to himself) Mom says boogs are icky, I have to put it in the garbage. (puts head down as he leave the room)
I laugh every time I think of it. He will certainly be a hit at preschool next week won't he??
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Prepare for take off!
My baseline U/S appointment is next wednesday.
Which happens to be the day before school starts. I guess I'll have to work my behind off to get everything ready to go Wed before noon! We don't do a lot the first day anyway so I'm not horribly worried. I will have to go tomorrow in the stiffling heat to begin organizing though.
I'll be on BCP's until 8/31 or 9/1. Then I'll start Lupron and stims.
Egg retrieval will be September 14-16th, right between Boo's birthday (the 12th) and mine (the 19th)
Should be an interesting start to the year, but it's very very exciting!
Tell me if I'm nuts though. I'm making Mr. go with me Wednesday to learn about the injections. He's given himself intermuscular injections before (yep, he used to be a meathead and did a round of steriods years ago) BUT I'm making him go. I need to know that I know that HE knows how to give them. (did you follow that?)
He's okay with going, but I can tell he'd rather not. It's my ass though and I feel more comfortable with him GOING!
Which happens to be the day before school starts. I guess I'll have to work my behind off to get everything ready to go Wed before noon! We don't do a lot the first day anyway so I'm not horribly worried. I will have to go tomorrow in the stiffling heat to begin organizing though.
I'll be on BCP's until 8/31 or 9/1. Then I'll start Lupron and stims.
Egg retrieval will be September 14-16th, right between Boo's birthday (the 12th) and mine (the 19th)
Should be an interesting start to the year, but it's very very exciting!
Tell me if I'm nuts though. I'm making Mr. go with me Wednesday to learn about the injections. He's given himself intermuscular injections before (yep, he used to be a meathead and did a round of steriods years ago) BUT I'm making him go. I need to know that I know that HE knows how to give them. (did you follow that?)
He's okay with going, but I can tell he'd rather not. It's my ass though and I feel more comfortable with him GOING!
Friday, August 10, 2007
Update...
WOO HOOO
Less than 2!
Not often you want it to be that, but my HCG is less than TWO!
I am a go for the study! Can you see me wiggling my ass around in the happy dance???
We are waiting on the okay for the medium but I'll hear from her next week as to the details and dates for my protocol!
Tear of JOY!! YES YES YES!
I think Boo brought me good luck, don't you???
Less than 2!
Not often you want it to be that, but my HCG is less than TWO!
I am a go for the study! Can you see me wiggling my ass around in the happy dance???
We are waiting on the okay for the medium but I'll hear from her next week as to the details and dates for my protocol!
Tear of JOY!! YES YES YES!
I think Boo brought me good luck, don't you???
One. More. Time
Just got back from Iowa City for my 3rd blood draw. We are confident it will be a negative. I'll hear from her next week about my protocol.
Must cross all t's and dot all i's.
I had to take Boo with me because I had no sitter. He was very good and asked me on the way out "did you leave your bloods at the hospital mom?"
Yes, yes I did dear *heart*
On the way home he said "Mom, I love you. I love you so so much!"
Sigh....makes it all worth it doesn't it?
Must cross all t's and dot all i's.
I had to take Boo with me because I had no sitter. He was very good and asked me on the way out "did you leave your bloods at the hospital mom?"
Yes, yes I did dear *heart*
On the way home he said "Mom, I love you. I love you so so much!"
Sigh....makes it all worth it doesn't it?
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Can I catch a break please?
I drove an hour to Iowa City today for day 2 blood work.
Got a message from Michelle this afternooon. My FSH and Estradial (sp?) are great.
My HCG is 4. Their lab considers under 3 not pregnant.
She has called the study people to see if I should come back for another draw or what. I should have waited until tomorrow I guess huh? I just wanted to get it out of the way.
We are however proceeding and I just took my first BCP and my Zithromax.
Talk about on pins and needles huh?
Got a message from Michelle this afternooon. My FSH and Estradial (sp?) are great.
My HCG is 4. Their lab considers under 3 not pregnant.
She has called the study people to see if I should come back for another draw or what. I should have waited until tomorrow I guess huh? I just wanted to get it out of the way.
We are however proceeding and I just took my first BCP and my Zithromax.
Talk about on pins and needles huh?
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Jane, stop this crazy thing!
Whew~I feel like I've run a marathon. I think I know where we are going now and how soon...but sit back and let me tell you the tale of my last 36 hours.
We were late leaving for U of Iowa. I was stupidly thinking that since it takes 45 minutes to get there, if we left at 8 for a 9am appointment we'd be fine. Sure, sure, to any ordinary person that would be plenty of time, but not my family! We left on time barely. I was pretty nervous since AF still wasn't here. I'm not normally nervous. I'm the calm one in my family. I keep us on time and where we need to be. Being nervous there us off.
We dropped Boo off at the sitter and I insisted on stopping for my usual 24oz hot green tea with 1/2 the normal amount of honey. We had to go through McD's for DH too (he doesn't eat healthy...LOL)
We got to the hospital about 10 minutes late and hurried to the 4th floor. Of course when we got there they told us our letter was wrong and we were supposed to be on the 2nd floor...so we arrived finally at 9:15 or so.
It was a long day. I was told not to worry about AF not showing (whew!). We gave health histories, got all the info for the basic IVF as well as the study. I had an internal ultrasound. They counted 9 antral follicles. They like to see 10 :( Amazingly my BP was 103/71!
We had some wait time. By this time it was 11:30 or so. Our nurse for the day told us that we should have DH give his sample and go get something to eat. We were to be back by 12:45 and then we'd do blood draws, see the doc and be done.
Now, if you've ever been to the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics, you know that it's a maze. There are literally 8 different banks of elevators that take you to different parts of the hospital. They gave us a MAP to the IVF lab. We found it and got our "instructions" from a beautiful lab tech who wouldn't look DH in the eye! She gave us our insulated bag, instructions and the keypad to the "collection room"! It was on a different floor in a completely different area! It's like we were spies or something...secret key pads, quiet room with a recliner, tv, accoutrements (cough cough) and bathroom complete with shower! There were strict instructions to cover the recliner with a sheet if we used it....ummm...ick! Then we had to pack the sample up in the insulated bag and take it back. By this time it was noon. When we got back to the lab, they told us the IVF clinic had called and to go directly back.
My heart of course skipped a beat. We hadn't been given the official go ahead yet for the trail and I figured they wanted us back to tell us we were out. I swear it was like a rollercoaster all day. Of course, they called us back to meet with the doctor so we could be finished earlier. The financial person came to talk to us too. She's my new friend! She told us many loopholes that we didn't know about our coverage...including that it's 15,000 PER PERSON! Mr's things don't count towards my 15,000! Also, what they cut the check for is what counts towards the total, not what WE would be billed. This is a load off in case the trial doesn't work!
Our doctor was not very enthusiastic about our chances with the trial. He explained that their projected success rates are not as high as regular IVF, but we already knew that. He said it was up to us what we do. We had already decided to go for the trial unless they tell us we can't.
Then it was time to disrobe and be probed! Full physical exam, pelvic and pap, cervical cultures and uterine sounding. It's a bit disconcerting for you hubby to hear the doc say "it opened right up, I wish all cervixes behaved that way!"
Mr. finally out and out asked if we were in the trial or not. We were told that after my FSH levels came back they would tell us for sure. Nothing like a little suspense huh?
Then it was my favorite part of the day (NOT) Blood draw time. Not a good experience. You'd think that the nurses there would be able to handle it. She was nice, but damn that hurt!
We finally got out of there, starving by now...at 2:15. By the time we got to the car and drove around aimlessly for a while (we were so hungry that neither of us could decide WHERE to eat!) we finally had food in front of us by 3:10.
We ate, shopped at bit at Pioneer Co-op and drove home. We had to get Boo from our friend's and finally got home at 7pm! LONG LONG DAY!
I thought the ride was over and we were fine...and then got a call today. My HCG levels came back at 11. Not negative, but not viable for day 33. I am to repeat them tomorrow. She called at 2:30. AF showed while I was at the gym at 5:30! Good God is this every going to end?
Tune in tomorrow for more.....
We were late leaving for U of Iowa. I was stupidly thinking that since it takes 45 minutes to get there, if we left at 8 for a 9am appointment we'd be fine. Sure, sure, to any ordinary person that would be plenty of time, but not my family! We left on time barely. I was pretty nervous since AF still wasn't here. I'm not normally nervous. I'm the calm one in my family. I keep us on time and where we need to be. Being nervous there us off.
We dropped Boo off at the sitter and I insisted on stopping for my usual 24oz hot green tea with 1/2 the normal amount of honey. We had to go through McD's for DH too (he doesn't eat healthy...LOL)
We got to the hospital about 10 minutes late and hurried to the 4th floor. Of course when we got there they told us our letter was wrong and we were supposed to be on the 2nd floor...so we arrived finally at 9:15 or so.
It was a long day. I was told not to worry about AF not showing (whew!). We gave health histories, got all the info for the basic IVF as well as the study. I had an internal ultrasound. They counted 9 antral follicles. They like to see 10 :( Amazingly my BP was 103/71!
We had some wait time. By this time it was 11:30 or so. Our nurse for the day told us that we should have DH give his sample and go get something to eat. We were to be back by 12:45 and then we'd do blood draws, see the doc and be done.
Now, if you've ever been to the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics, you know that it's a maze. There are literally 8 different banks of elevators that take you to different parts of the hospital. They gave us a MAP to the IVF lab. We found it and got our "instructions" from a beautiful lab tech who wouldn't look DH in the eye! She gave us our insulated bag, instructions and the keypad to the "collection room"! It was on a different floor in a completely different area! It's like we were spies or something...secret key pads, quiet room with a recliner, tv, accoutrements (cough cough) and bathroom complete with shower! There were strict instructions to cover the recliner with a sheet if we used it....ummm...ick! Then we had to pack the sample up in the insulated bag and take it back. By this time it was noon. When we got back to the lab, they told us the IVF clinic had called and to go directly back.
My heart of course skipped a beat. We hadn't been given the official go ahead yet for the trail and I figured they wanted us back to tell us we were out. I swear it was like a rollercoaster all day. Of course, they called us back to meet with the doctor so we could be finished earlier. The financial person came to talk to us too. She's my new friend! She told us many loopholes that we didn't know about our coverage...including that it's 15,000 PER PERSON! Mr's things don't count towards my 15,000! Also, what they cut the check for is what counts towards the total, not what WE would be billed. This is a load off in case the trial doesn't work!
Our doctor was not very enthusiastic about our chances with the trial. He explained that their projected success rates are not as high as regular IVF, but we already knew that. He said it was up to us what we do. We had already decided to go for the trial unless they tell us we can't.
Then it was time to disrobe and be probed! Full physical exam, pelvic and pap, cervical cultures and uterine sounding. It's a bit disconcerting for you hubby to hear the doc say "it opened right up, I wish all cervixes behaved that way!"
Mr. finally out and out asked if we were in the trial or not. We were told that after my FSH levels came back they would tell us for sure. Nothing like a little suspense huh?
Then it was my favorite part of the day (NOT) Blood draw time. Not a good experience. You'd think that the nurses there would be able to handle it. She was nice, but damn that hurt!
We finally got out of there, starving by now...at 2:15. By the time we got to the car and drove around aimlessly for a while (we were so hungry that neither of us could decide WHERE to eat!) we finally had food in front of us by 3:10.
We ate, shopped at bit at Pioneer Co-op and drove home. We had to get Boo from our friend's and finally got home at 7pm! LONG LONG DAY!
I thought the ride was over and we were fine...and then got a call today. My HCG levels came back at 11. Not negative, but not viable for day 33. I am to repeat them tomorrow. She called at 2:30. AF showed while I was at the gym at 5:30! Good God is this every going to end?
Tune in tomorrow for more.....
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Panic time
AF isn't here yet.
This sucks! I'm not pg (two HPT's have confirmed that) yet the cranky witch hasn't shown.
Doesn't that figure? I dread getting AF every month but when I need her to show up, she goes incognito.
Who knows how this is going to work...we are still going to the appointment in the morning. I'm hoping that they'll do a blood test, confirm that I'm not PG and give me provera to get it started.
I have no idea if they will or not, but I really really hope that's how it works.
Keep your fingers crossed will ya?
And No, I haven't figured out what to wear yet either!
This sucks! I'm not pg (two HPT's have confirmed that) yet the cranky witch hasn't shown.
Doesn't that figure? I dread getting AF every month but when I need her to show up, she goes incognito.
Who knows how this is going to work...we are still going to the appointment in the morning. I'm hoping that they'll do a blood test, confirm that I'm not PG and give me provera to get it started.
I have no idea if they will or not, but I really really hope that's how it works.
Keep your fingers crossed will ya?
And No, I haven't figured out what to wear yet either!
Thursday, August 2, 2007
and all I can think is "what should I wear?"
Our appointment at U of I is monday.
AF needs to show in the next day or so. If she's not here by monday we may not be able to participate. YES, we are THAT close to not making it. I turn 36 September 19th. I have to have done the suppression and be TAKING the fertility injections by then. Do the math, it's close....very very close.
In order to keep myself busy I've been chasing Boo around all week, running errands to get ready to go back to school, got a massage, and have been trying to decide what to wear to the appointment.
I have this thing. I need to know what to wear that is appropriate for different occasions. For this appointment, I need an outfit that doesn't make me appear completely desperate. It needs to make me look like I have all my wits about me. I should took put together and somewhat hip, right? I'm disappointed that I can't get in to get my haircut by monday.
Now I know this makes me appear completely nuts, but when I was little I NEVER have the right clothes. I was alway out of place. My family was not wealthy. I wore garage sale clothes a lot. I never had the right jeans. (In the early 80's, you needed the correct pattern of Zena jeans to be cool)
I never felt comfortable. Now I plan these things out ahead of time. I go over outfits in my head.
I'm also still pretty cheap. I don't pay full price for much. I love to bargain shop, the sale racks at Target and Macys....LOVE them.
So what do I wear to possibly the most important appointment of my life? I should just wear my favorite jeans and a cute shirt, right? I should try for comfort?
Hmmm
Suggestions please?
Distract me from the fact that AF isn't here yet!
AF needs to show in the next day or so. If she's not here by monday we may not be able to participate. YES, we are THAT close to not making it. I turn 36 September 19th. I have to have done the suppression and be TAKING the fertility injections by then. Do the math, it's close....very very close.
In order to keep myself busy I've been chasing Boo around all week, running errands to get ready to go back to school, got a massage, and have been trying to decide what to wear to the appointment.
I have this thing. I need to know what to wear that is appropriate for different occasions. For this appointment, I need an outfit that doesn't make me appear completely desperate. It needs to make me look like I have all my wits about me. I should took put together and somewhat hip, right? I'm disappointed that I can't get in to get my haircut by monday.
Now I know this makes me appear completely nuts, but when I was little I NEVER have the right clothes. I was alway out of place. My family was not wealthy. I wore garage sale clothes a lot. I never had the right jeans. (In the early 80's, you needed the correct pattern of Zena jeans to be cool)
I never felt comfortable. Now I plan these things out ahead of time. I go over outfits in my head.
I'm also still pretty cheap. I don't pay full price for much. I love to bargain shop, the sale racks at Target and Macys....LOVE them.
So what do I wear to possibly the most important appointment of my life? I should just wear my favorite jeans and a cute shirt, right? I should try for comfort?
Hmmm
Suggestions please?
Distract me from the fact that AF isn't here yet!
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